lets name this anger managment

i mean, really?
was it necessary? si lo único en esta vida a lo que yo aspiro es la claridad suprema, no caer en las banalidades por las que me amargo la vida but thank goodness for mochaccinos de sobrecito and the ocasional ciggie and polly scattergood, she's good, and the pain of the day after y todo lo soleado y eternamente hermoso que no puedo apreciar porque mi incapacidad para no alterarme por cosas que no deberian importarme no me dejan. carencias, no se quitan con el tiempo, creo que más bien uno se las va adicionando for fun or for whatever reason along the way. but please oh please i really wanna forget, i wanna live and let live sin que sea tan putamente contradictorio? doloroso? dificil? gimme a chill pill and i'll be alright. digo, i know the pandemonium is always transitory. i know this is my irational self speaking.
but seriously, what can i do.
it is what it is.
i've found great comfort in that. bueno, no uno longlasting, un tenteahí. es medio solo saber que no se sabe nada but i could repeat it as a mantra and maybe just maybe survive the next five minutes without
turning into
a
i don't know.